are you still at the devil's house?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
why do cheetos always look like penises
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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