i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
