he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
