God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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