I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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