I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
