Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
