I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
