I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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