Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
