I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
