Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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