Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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