I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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