he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
