dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
