The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
wow bdsm is so cute
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