Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
