piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
