Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I cockslap morals
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
