If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's great music for shaving your balls
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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