yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
