I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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