please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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