i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
