so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
