Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
