so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
