that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
