I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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