you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Randomize
