Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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