So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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