Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
