Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You're my little dorito
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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