and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
