Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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