It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
