Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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