All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
