fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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