Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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