fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
