he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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