dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
