id be glad to
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
