He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
