Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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