I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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