plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
