There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
