Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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